Father Nicholas Nelson: Do your funeral like a Catholic

Handing on the Faith 

During the month of November, we reflect on the Last Things — what will happen when we die. So, this is a perfect time to take a closer look at funerals and burials. I find that most Catholics don’t know what the church says regarding funerals and burials. 

The first thing is that every Catholic deserves a funeral Mass at a Catholic Church. The Catholic Mass is the most powerful prayer we can offer. It is a making present of Christ’s self-sacrifice on Calvary. A funeral Mass is particularly important. It is a serious help to the deceased on their final journey to heaven. It’s truly the best gift we can give a loved one! A funeral service at the funeral home is inadequate for our beloved deceased. 

Over the years, I have encountered several objections to having a funeral Mass: 

Objection 1: “Dad hasn’t been to Mass in twenty years.” 

Reply 1: Even if a person has been away from the church for a long time, they are still entitled to a Catholic funeral Mass. 

Objection 2: “Yes, dad was a faithful Catholic, but we haven’t been to the church in a long time. We don’t feel very comfortable there.” 

Reply 2: Even if all the surviving family members no longer practice the faith, the Catholic still deserves a funeral Mass. It’s OK to be a bit uncomfortable at the funeral Mass. It’s not only about the surviving members but also about praying for the deceased and giving glory to God for the graces, blessings, and mercy bestowed upon the deceased. 

Objection 3: “Mom just wanted a small and simple service at the funeral home. She didn’t want to burden people and make too big a deal out of it.” 

Reply 3: First, a funeral Mass at the Church can be very small and simple. We don’t even need music if you don’t want it. Second, we must not always fulfill the wishes of the deceased. For example, the deceased may not have known the full truth of the church’s teaching. And now that they are in eternity, they know the truth, and I guarantee he or she would want all the graces that a funeral Mass offers them. 

Also, if your wife told you not to make a big deal out of her birthday and not get her anything, would you oblige her? I hope not! I hope you would still give her what she deserves. Your loved one deserves a funeral Mass even if he said he didn’t want one. 

The second thing is that every Catholic deserves a full body burial. Today, the Catholic Church allows cremation, but she still prefers a full body burial. Why is that? 

First, the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. We shouldn’t burn it. Search “cremation” on YouTube and you will see the grotesque nature of cremation. 

Second, cremation is harder for children to understand. “Mom, you are telling me that grandma is in that little box?” 

Third, and most important, a full body burial better expresses our hope that this person, body and soul, will rise when Christ returns. We bury the deceased with their feet to the east and head to the west, so when Christ returns from the east at the end of time the person easily rises up to meet his or her Savior! 

Eastern religions do cremation because they believe that salvation is about escaping the body. We believe in the resurrection of the body. The world denigrates the body. It doesn’t appreciate the body. We say, “No, I am my body.” So, it’s not that God can’t easily put the person’s cremated remains back together and fill it with his glory; rather, a full body burial is the best witness to the world that this body, this person, will rise on the last day. 

Full body burials don’t have to be expensive. You can buy a simple wooden casket from someplace other than the funeral home. You can even make your own casket. I have seen people’s caskets standing in their office, being used as a bookcase until the time they will need it. 

Finally, don’t leave your funeral planning to your family after you die. You can visit your local funeral home now and plan your funeral. Tell them you want a Mass of Christian Burial at your parish with a full body burial. You can even pick out the hymns and the readings you would like. All this planning makes it much easier for your family members. 

Father Nick Nelson is pastor of Queen of Peace and Holy Family parishes in Cloquet and vocations director for the Diocese of Duluth. He studied at The Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Rome. Reach him at [email protected].