Father Nicholas Nelson: Why and how can the church have such high standards for us?

“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.” 

This quotation is from the great English convert, G.K. Chesterton. I think it sums up well what I wish to write about today. It is the reality that the church does ask a great deal of us. We are obliged to go to Mass every Sunday and on holy days. There is to be no sexual activity outside a valid marriage recognized by the church. We have to forgive and love our enemies. We are not to have lust or hatred in our hearts. 

Father Nick Nelson Handing on the Faith

Jesus has high standards for us. 

And why is that? Why does the church ask so much of us? How can Jesus demand pretty much perfection from us? I wish to give four reasons. 

The first reason is that our dignity demands it. We are familiar with the parable of the Prodigal Son. When the son is at his lowest point, he finds himself in a pigsty wishing that he could just have some of the food the pigs themselves are eating. For a Jewish man, this was as far beneath his dignity as one could imagine. 

Our dignity demands a certain degree of living. When we commit sin, we actually describe the feeling as feeling dirty. It is incumbent on humans to act rationally, that our actions are in accord with our human dignity. How much more so for those reborn as sons and daughters of God in baptism? Pope St. Leo the Great said, “Christian, recognize your dignity.” St. Paul, teaching on the virtue of chastity, says, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?” (1 Corinthians 6 15-16). 

The second reason is the presence of grace. God would be a tyrant if he expected something of us that wasn’t possible. God would not be a good father if he expected his sons and daughters to jump five feet if they only could jump two feet. And yes, these expectations of God and his church are impossible for us if we are left on our own. 

But we are not on our own. God gives us his grace, supernatural help to do what he asks of us. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Corinthians 12:9). We must beg for his grace every day! A great prayer to say is, “God come to my assistance. Lord, make haste to help me!” 

The third reason is that church teaching leads to fulfillment. My dad, who is a real science guy (he was a surgeon), always says that secular studies have shown that the church’s moral teachings are what is best for the individual and society. 

Most of the world looks at the church’s teachings as arbitrary hoops that we must jump through so that God doesn’t send us to hell. I only really appreciated my faith when I learned that the moral teachings are signposts pointing us towards our good, whereas if I do things my way, according to my disordered passions, it leads to more suffering and more brokenness. Think about it: If we wanted to go to a major destination complete with water parks and go-cart racing, why would we reject or refuse or be offended by the signposts that point us to Wisconsin Dells? The same thing goes for the church’s moral teachings. 

Finally, there is always mercy. Again, God would be a despot if we only got one shot to meet the standard he gave us. For example, there was a time in Taiwan that high school grads took the Joint College Entrance Examination, and their entire future was based on the results of that test. One chance is all you got. Sadly, many young Taiwanese ended up committing suicide following their failing scores on the test. 

It’s not like that with our Father. We get as many chances as we need, as long as we keep getting up, as long as we continue to repent and seek his mercy in confession. Pope Francis famously has said, “God never tires of forgiving us. We unfortunately get tired of being forgiven.” We only lose in the end, we only miss out on heaven, if we give up and don’t ask for God’s mercy. 

And if we need any proof of this, just look at the saints. Their unique and diverse personalities, dispositions, states of life, and circumstances all demonstrate that meeting these demands is possible. We must continue to immerse ourselves in the lives of the saints. They show that our dignity demands a holiness of life. They speak about the reality of grace and how it is only by God’s grace they did anything good. Their joyful, hopeful lives show that a Christian life leads to great fulfillment in this life. Many of them had sordid pasts and even took steps backwards before they finally became the great saints we know them to be. They trusted in God’s mercy and they never gave up. 

Read their lives, watch good movies on them, pray their novenas, and celebrate their feast days. The Christian ideal is difficult, but it is not found wanting! 

Father Nick Nelson is pastor of Queen of Peace and Holy Family parishes in Cloquet and vocations director for the Diocese of Duluth. He studied at The Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Rome. Reach him at [email protected].